Tomorrow is my birthday
And shift today was awesome
First of all, remember that depression is not your fault, and it does not mean that you are any less of a person. But although depression is not the fault of the person, there are things that one with depression can do to manage the symptoms that come with the diagnosis.
I think that it is a pretty big red flag that that your instructors noticed a change in your work and your personality without you bringing up your current mental state with them. To me, this means that your symptoms may be effecting your day-to-day life more than you care to admit.
Changes and worsening of mental state is EXTREMELY common when someone begins university. This is due to the increase in stress and also the age that many people attend university (people in late teens, early 20s are more likely to develop new mental health symptoms).
My advice would be to take a very honest look at your stressors and what made your symptoms become worse. Once you find what differs from when you are healthy to when you are more depressed that may be where you need to focus your attention. This “trigger” may be something that you can problem solve on your own (e.g. increase in depression symptoms is related to feeling overwhelmed about the amount of work you have to do, then perhaps focus on time management etc.). If it isn’t, THAT’S OK TOO, but that just means that you may need a little extra help from a mental health professional, or a self-help workbook.
As for your clinical, I think that it is up to you. If your grades are good and you aren’t breaking any guidelines, then I don’t think that your instructors can limit you from attending clinical. If this is your first clinical, you will be highly supervised, so I don’t think you will be putting your patients in danger. Honestly, I think the clinical experience is a great test to see if you will actually LIKE being a nurse.
Here are some resources to get you started:
These are some techniques I use when I’m having a panic attack.
I’m no expert, but they seem to help me out, so maybe they’ll help you out too.
this is great also gonna add that listening to music or an audiobook can really help
Starting the new job tomorrow. I’m really excited to start working with this organization because they do amazing things in the community and help a lot of women during a time when they really need support.
I’m nervous because I really want to make a good impression and do a good job. It is also an awake overnight position, which I have never done before, so I’m also worried about how my body is going to adjust to that.
I’m off to bed now. I have a very early training shift tomorrow morning. Positive vibes are very much appreciated for this nervous bunny :)